real talk.

Can I be honest for a minute?

This evening, the music school that I work for had its "Year End Recital." All week I was actually really looking forward to it... yes, it may sound nerdy or lame...but I was excited for a music recital! I love my job. I love teaching other people music...so at the end of the year I LOVE sitting at the back of the sanctuary with a big smile on my face, proud of how far my students have come along. I don't type this to say "look at me, I'm a good teacher" - no - this is me pointing at the students, saying "look at how amazing they are because of all their hard work!" Tonight was all about them displaying their talent and giftings... and it was incredible.

However, as in most stories, there was a point of conflict. Not only am I a teacher for the music school, but I actually run the whole thing. I was the one who organized the recital... and I was the one who was supposed to mc the night as well. Emphasis on the supposed to.

As students and family members and friends piled into the sanctuary minutes before the recital was to start, it suddenly hit me. The show needed to start. I looked around searching for someone to get the show on the road...and then realized...everyone was waiting for ME to start it.  ...suddenly realizing that the spot light was on me made me nervous... I turned desperately to one of my friends and asked him to mc the night. Thankfully he was more than willing to... and the night was a great success.

End of the story? Naahh...your probably thinking...what's the point. What's Allison's little moral of the story this time... well...just a few moments ago I was surfing the interwebs and ran across this quote:

"The PROBLEM is that you are trying to fit IN, when you were born to STAND OUT."

How relevant is that quote with today's society? I think very...  Tonight was not about me backing out of mc-ing the night because I wanted to fit in... no, but tonight I was given the chance to stand out... to do something that would have challenged me and made me stronger...I could have once again faced my fear of public speaking... but instead, I did what so many others do...and I sat down and passed the torch on to someone else. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place to pass the torch...but when you find yourself in a situation where you know there is something that you need to do, something that will challenge you to the core and allow you to step out in faith... don't pass the torch in fear... step up. You were born to stand out. You are called to make a difference. 

Yes, I know... the recital wouldn't have been much different had I mc-ed it...the world would not have been changed in one night...BUT i would have been that much closer to conquering my fear of public speaking...which constantly hinders me from making a difference in peoples lives. 

It's nothing fancy. Just an observation and a little life lesson I learned tonight. Real talk yo.

So when you are given the opportunity...are you going to stand out?

Good things come in little packages.

This past weekend was a riot. Literally. Imagine a group of 10 screaming, hyped up, smelly junior-highs all up in your face...then multiply it by...say...100? Yep. That's junior high convention for you. But don't get me wrong, it was a blast. I love working with junior-highs and seeing the world from their perspective again... It makes me laugh a lot.. it really is fun. But man, it is tiresome...so I was more than ready to hit my bed at 9:00pm on Saturday night when I arrive home...

Then Sunday came around...the alarm went off around 7..ish..something...then...7:30..I think...then 8:00...then..oh yeah, I had to get up because I remembered I was co-leading worship at my church and had to be there and ready to soundcheck at 8:30... all went smoothly till about 3/4 of the way through the actual set when the sheet music infront of me started changing colours and I almost passed out... but the strange light-headed dizzy feeling soon went away with a few sips of water which I stole from the pastor's stash in the front row... oops.

... your probably wondering where I am going with this right now... don't worry I'm getting there soon..

Then Sunday afternoon hit, right after I made myself a delicious lunch that nagging feeling came back in my head, and I felt like the whole world was spinning around me in double-time. ..So I did what I do best, at around 12:30 I laid down for a nap...5 hours later... I woke up even worse off...fast forward even more and I was even worse. Monday, basically the only thing my face saw was my pillow and the toilet bowl. ... By  the time Tuesday morning came around, I was feeling a little bit better, however still not my best. But, I crankily got ready and set out to make my morning trek to school. All day, I was sick-tired-don't-talk-to-me-cause-I-don't-wanna-talk-to-you-cranky-Allison.  ...that is, until I came home.

A few minutes after I got through the door my mom arrived home with Grace. This little girl was born 12 days ago. She's so tiny and she is as light as a feather. She's absolutely beautiful. You wouldn't guess by looking at her, that she's unwanted by her parents, or that she's fighting for her life due to the drug abuse her mother put her through during her pregnancy. Actually, she doesn't even have a name... the doctors told my mom that they just started calling her Grace because they didn't know what to call her.  ... Grace.

If you look it up in a baby name book it means "favour" or "blessing." If you understand God's grace it means so much more than just a favour or a blessing...  and that's what she is. She's so much more than a favour or a blessing. I've only spent a few hours with her, and she's already been a blessing to my life. She helped me realize how caught-up I was in how I was feeling about my poor little sickness, when here she is fighting for her life - and no one is there to help fight with her. No one was there to call her their own. No one spent time just loving her, except for maybe a few nurses who had a few moments to spare during their shift.

...So my point? I have learned yet another lesson. Suck it up, there are more important things to worry about. Go be a blessing in someone's life. Do them a favour. Even if you don't feel like it...  and maybe you'll be suprised by grace... often, we receive it, when we don't deserve it.